SETTING SEXUAL BOUNDARIES
Boundaries. The word itself can be as intimidating as barbed wire.
Scary to set.
Scary to express.
Scary to defend.
But you know what’s scarier than setting or defending boundaries? Having no boundaries at all.
There’s a good reason you might be afraid to establish boundaries. Perhaps you were socialized never to make waves, or told to be obedient at all times otherwise you might upset someone. Or, that you’re somehow responsible for everybody else’s feelings, or selfish if you ever put yourself first. It’s entirely possible you were fed those lines of bullshit. Especially if you were a girl. Also, it can be very challenging to advocate for yourself, especially if you’re used to always putting others before you.
Just like applying sunscreen, brushing your teeth, or washing your hands regularly, establishing boundaries should be a critical part of your daily self-care routine. You are well within your rights to ask for what you want and to reject things that are not serving you. Because, you are taking care of yourself and your needs. Plus, how you treat yourself teaches others how to treat you.
YOU ARE WORTHY AND YOU DON’T NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR IT
Sorry, I have a few more things to say…
In this episode, I mention a recent Canadian study I found that revealed how and why women apologize more than men. Sorry. Many thought that was only a stereotype, but, sorry, it turned out to be true for a surprising reason. Here’s a link with info how you can read the study in full. Sorry.
I also refer to a piece on Bustle.com How You Can Set Boundaries With A New Sexual Partner. Even if you’ve been with someone for a while, the advice here is very helpful and really affirms the importance of establishing sexual boundaries not only for your own health but for a healthy relationship.
I also share the story of a woman who was having painful sex because she was afraid that asking to use lube would somehow offend her husband. GAHHHHHH!
I mention a lube I really like called Sliquid Organics Gel. Because I have a super delicate ecosystem, I love this product. It’s aloe vera based and water soluble, and 100% Vegan friendly with no animal testing. It’s glycerin, paraben and petroleum free. It’s latex, rubber and plastic friendly. It’s also hypoallergenic, non-toxic, non-staining, unflavored and unscented. You can purchase it here.
If you feel as if you’re not worthy of getting what you want or that you always find yourself saying “Sorry” before voicing an opinion or really anything, please check out this episode about establishing boundaries, especially sexual boundaries, and why you are 100% allowed and encouraged to establish them for your own well-being.
As Brené Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”
Or, as I say, “If people can’t respect your boundaries, fuck ‘em. Or better yet…don’t.”
Sex Ed The Musical is available on iTunes, Stitcher, Podtail, IHeartRadio, Podbay, Spotify and more.
PLEASE SUBSCRIBE AND LEAVE A 5-STAR REVIEW HERE!
Sex Ed The Musical is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.” At no cost to you, I may receive a tiny amount of compensation when you purchase from my links, which I’ll totally blow on important things like these Kevlar gloves.