“Normally I’d be horrified, but I was already in full-on observation mode. And I was curious to see how long it would be before my date got punched in the face.”
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“If you buy your condoms at the 99 Cent Store you might as well pick up the pregnancy test next to it, cause you’re going to be pregnant.”
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“If you’ve rubbed and tugged 5,000 guys, you’re just a regular lady. 10,000? You are a hooker.”
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“The more that we can engage in fun sex that makes us happy, that makes us feel connected to our partner, I think the happier the world will be.”
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“Is there a light at the end of the vagina tunnel?”
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“Nothing is sexier than someone who is self confident. You can be a size 4 and a basket case or a size 24 and hella sexy. So love the one you’re with — YOU.”
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“I’m not proud of the fact that I did what I did, but I’m not really apologetic about it either.”
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“When I’m doing something I would not want my spouse to know about, and I’m choosing to do it and not tell them, I’m cheating.”
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“Get yours. Figure out what is enjoyable to you and go after it. “
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“I remember him looking at me…and he pointed at my pregnant belly and he said, ‘I didn’t want that one.’ And I looked at him and I was like, ‘Well it’s a little late now, and you were there.’”
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“I think a lot of people often don’t understand that this kind of arrangement actually requires way more trust. Way more communication.”
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“Take a trip to a local sex toy store. Please, don’t be afraid to enter these establishments. Many are feminist owned and pretty darn nice inside. I went to this one place that was like the Nordstrom of butt plugs.”
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“A sex party is definitely not the place to bluff about things. You never want to make promises that your vagina can’t keep.”
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“I thought I needed to find a sexual experience so I could spoon afterwards, even when the sexual experience wasn’t at all what I wanted. I just thought it was the price I had to pay, to get to the cuddling.”
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“If you’re going to do something, you might as well do it right.”
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“It’s not even that NO means NO, it’s that only YES means YES.”
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“She just started at me silently and smiled. Not in a 100% kindly Medicine Woman In Front Of A Fire way but more like a 75% Why Are You Such A Fucking Dumbass way”
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“If you’re a woman who has sex with too many men, their sperm will mix together inside you and irritate your Fallopian tubes until they are fused shut.”
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“So many women don’t know what they want sexually, so they just want what they’ve been told to want.”
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“The first thing I say is, don’t move and don’t look!”
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