DATING PREFERENCE OR RACISM? WITH DAMONA HOFFMAN

It seems to be one of the last bastions of unchecked racism. "I'm looking for someone special to spend the rest of my life with. Someone kind, loving and adventurous. Together we'll create a perfect life where we'll explore the world, always be there for each other and bring out the best in each other.

It seems to be one of the last bastions of unchecked racism.

“I’m looking for someone special to spend the rest of my life with. Someone kind, loving and adventurous. Together we’ll create a perfect life where we’ll explore the world, always be there for each other and bring out the best in each other. No Black men.”

Whaaaaaa?

Sure, is it well within your rights to be completely honest about what you absolutely want or don’t want in your dating profile. Even if it’s, like, 100% totally overtly unmistakably racist.

To this day, blatant racism can be found all over dating profiles and it’s not just for haters. There are other folks who are known ONLY to date certain races other than their own.

“Asian Women Only”

Ummm, I suppose that could be considered flattering…until you realize that some of those searchers may only want to fetishize you. Either way, making these demands can turn dating into a pretty dehumanizing experience.

To walk us through all of this, is Certified Dating Expert and Writer Damona Hoffman. Host of the highly successful Dates & Mates Podcast, Damona is a dating profile whisperer of the highest order. The product of an interracial and interfaith marriage herself, Damona is uniquely qualified and trained to address racist messaging in dating profiles.

As Damona says in our interview, “We are in a time where everyone is waking up and realizing that the way we have been operating is racist.”

Yep.

There’s also a good chance that there’s some unconscious bias at play with most of us. Maybe what you’re looking for in a potential partner is based on where you grew up, who you met in school or how the media portrays certain groups and amplifies dangerous racial stereotypes.

The bottom line is, dating is a numbers game. If you only want someone from a very, very, very narrow group, you’re probably missing out on a lot of potentially fun and groovy people.

Curious about your own unconscious bias? Take this quiz available on Tolerance.org to test yourself for hidden bias. As they say, “Your willingness to examine your own possible biases is an important step in understanding the roots of stereotypes and prejudice in our society.”

If you’re searching and have an open mind, the perfect match just might surprise you. To enlist expert help at finding that someone special, reach out to Damona or follow her online @DamonaHoffman

I’d also be ever so grateful if you’d subscribe to Sex Ed The Musical and leave me a 5-star review here.

Preesh!