Over the past seven years, I did the following things WHILE AT WORK: 10) Ran the security gate at the Playboy Mansion only to be yelled at by a horrible security guard with an even more horrible mustache. 9) Gave the head of HR a vibrator. 8) Washed a latex fist in the executive kitchen. 7) Made a male porn star wearing a fanny pack, spit out his gum during an audition for an ill-fated soap opera. 6) Yelled at the Legal department because they wouldn't let us use a clip of a guy having sex with a snowman. 5) On a live broadcast compared cunnilingus to eating lima beans. 4) Turned down a $2000 bribe by supermodel Janice Dickinson. 3) Got yelled at by a producer for trying to hire him. He screamed, "YOU don't get to ruin my career. Only I get to ruin my career." 2) Went to a Swingers Club housed in a storage locker in Van Nuys. 1) Put a talking butt plug on TV.
